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Re: SEXUAL INTERCOURSE IN A COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP?
Eniola, youa re very funny. No problem we'll start a church here and we'll collect the offerings and send them to our liberty reserve account. We'll get a pastor, maybe faith will be the pastor, I'll be the assistant pastor....Just Kidding....
I must say it's a very interesting thread. The most interesting I have seen in recent times...keep it up... :) :) :)
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@ Pst. Nwoko_emmanuel, We would prefer you as our Pastor and Faith yetu as your assistant, you're quite understanding and he's more on the Rigid side, anyways just my personal opinion. @ faith yetu, am not against you. Wonderful forum, wonderful people; so pastor emma, the tithe and offering in liberty reserve account, what do we do with it? Just kidding. One luv.
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@ eniola, am not interested in any position in any church, not even in this forum, all am interested in is doing God's will, @ nwoko_emmanuel is a wonderful pastor I'd not mind being a disciple of. well, am just kidding too. You think am on the rigid side? I don't think so, I just love obeying Jesus irrespective of what I feel/experience that's all. I appreciate you all. Take charge and have a blessed week.
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"'The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.” JOHN 8:1-11
Adultery
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.
MATTHEW 7:27-30
But we have many sins in the Bible which the popular PASTOR of today's church are committing DECEIT.......Offering, tithes, firstfruits, harvest, etc...all in the name of extracting money from members in the name of the LORD.
Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”
17 “Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
18 “Which ones?” he inquired.
Jesus replied, “‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, 19 honor your father and mother,’[c] and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’[d]”
20 “All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
21 Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
22 When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
MATTHEW 19: 17-22
9 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.” Matthew 15:9
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@ nnenak, what are you saying? Relate this scriptures with what we're talking about on this topic.
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everybody in the house who has contributed to this thread is right. but when 'tanimu' is carried away my 'tanima' the whole points you gave becomes almost useless because all 'tanimu' wants is to 'nitse'. sorry if you misunderstand me i am communicating this to two-in-one member of this forum.
@Faith Yetu and @Eniola Ladidi
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yetu/ladidi your joblessness is making u joblessly jobless... come home 4 your registration
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eniola Ladidi
@ Pst. Nwoko_emmanuel, We would prefer you as our Pastor and Faith yetu as your assistant, you're quite understanding and he's more on the Rigid side, anyways just my personal opinion. @ faith yetu, am not against you. Wonderful forum, wonderful people; so pastor emma, the tithe and offering in liberty reserve account, what do we do with it? Just kidding. One luv.
Very Funny, You all are funny, the money in our Liberty Reserve Account we allocate it as such 25% will go to the Administrators of this forum as our contribution to the monthly subscription for bandwidth. Then 40% will be used to pay the workers, 20% will go for charity and what ever is left will be left as the reserve for any recurrent expenditure... ;) :D ;) :) ;D ;D ;D ;D ...funny indeed!!!
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@ pst. nwoko_emmanuel and @ eniola, very humorous. God bless you all.
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@ Faith Yetu, u have shown excellent maturity in moderating this interesting topic which was generated by u. I think the twist actually started after my previous comment. I have seen emotions coming into play, tempers flaring bcos of one reason; everyone trying to defend his or her own submission. However we should remember that this topic was not restricted to Xtianity alone so lets all stop fighting with words and lets reason objectively and philosophically. Let not try to conclude the topic or find a better answer to it. The more divers the views the better. Once again @ Faith well done.
Anyone that feels ofended by another persons view religiously should perhaps generate similar topic but biasing it to the desired religion. Thanks all for ur contributions, u all got it right!
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@ blackprofet, thanks for the compliments. There's really nothing to add to your comment. I appreciate you too. Take charge and see you @ the top.
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Sex does hav an appointed time;that is of course wen one is married.
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very true @ richlove. Nice one. Take charge.
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yes, it has it's appointed time. One luv all.
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Sexual intercourse in a committed relationship is BAD and not advicable but its something dat is easier said dan done especially wen u've gt involved in it once or several. The most common advice usually given include abstinence, self control, prayer etc but i want to advice dat first of all, one has to identify and answer - Is sexual intercourse in a committed relationship good or bad? If good is ur answer dat means dis piece is nt for u, but bad is ur answer - then we can talk.. Practical way of getting oneself from sexual intercourse (whether committed relationship or casual relationship) involves the GRACE of GOD - though it mit sound abstract or religious but it de sure way out. Every oda approach one decides 2 follow will always get u somehw back to it (wen de urge comes) no matter hw long u stay. Bt wit God's grace (divine self control and abstinence follows). Lastly, u need to avoid seriously all occasions dat lead to sexual feelings and thoughts (it may be friends, places, events, books, movies etc). Its not easy but by His grace, its very easy!! Benefits and favour dat follow marriage without premarital sexual intercourse are abound, space will nt allow dat. Dnt try in any way to compromise it. May de good lord direct us all aright - Amen. "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God - but my Grace is sufficient for you". Cheez!!!
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@ Ntiko, nice and explicit text, you're amazing. God bless you for this. Take charge.
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that's true, it's the GRACE OF GOD that would really help in a committed relationship, cos man's strength would definitely fail, @ ntiko, very factual. Nice one. One luv.
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It's the fault of both the male and female. We all know that it is wrong to have sex before marriage from the biblical view.
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Yes, @ frisk you're right, but a lot of christians don't know it's wrong, they believe as long as we're committed to getting married, we can do "what daddy and mummy use to do, afterall we're getting married all the same", it takes a matured male and female to admit to the fact that sex before marriage has a lot of fatal consequences. Nice contribution. Take charge and God bless you.
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Yes, I finally now have the opportunity to contribute. Most contributions have been made against the back drop of Christianity. I paint a picture for the purpose of an analogy Brother A and Sister B plans to get married, they are both Christians and choose to stay chaste according to Biblical doctrine. After marriage, Brother A is about to consummate his marriage, only to discover that Sister B has only one breast. The other was removed because she had breast cancer. The brother is perplex. He is contemplating a divorce.
Now picture 2, Bro. C and Bro. D are in a relationship and plans to get married as soon as possible. Now they choose to get intimate and understand themselves properly by engaging in safe sex through the use of condoms and contraceptives to avoid unwanted pregnancy. Over time, they get married and there are no unpleasant surprises. The marriage goes on well.
House, I ask now, of this two marriages, which is more productive. I'll like your contributions because we need to weigh both sides of the story.....Am expecting a reply.
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Well, @ brotherly, pls read my previous comments on the two marriages you highlighted above, I've answered your questions. Take charge and God bless you.
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@ brotherly, honestly speaking, ur question is really expository but i just want to make something a little clear to you, i dont want to sound biblical but i want to look at it from the moral point of view cos atleast most people still upholds on morals - you see most atimes, we want to play god (ie we want to assume or work like almighty God) and this is NEVER possible. Someone can decide to plan his marital life (decide on who to marry, the kind of physical feature your partner will posses, the number and sex of children you want to have etc) without seeking divine approval, in an attempt to actualise some of these desires one can decide to get involved in Premarital sexual intercourse in a "committed relatioship" in the bid of confirming what you want to "purchase" as portrayed in ur second example - dont also forget that sometimes the "goods" is certified okay but along the line that very certified good will turn to something else (something uncertifiable). Are u still aware that some persons mit stay in a relationship without sexual involvment/committment and still made a lovely and fufilled homes. WE CERTAINLY CAN NEVER PLAY GOD!!! What really matters is we praying and hoping that the WILL of God manifests in our lives cos his WILL is definitely awesome. You can have your plans which will definitely fail you but whatever HE has for can never fail you. Come to think of it, do you think that if you harken to the word of God (as in avoiding premarital sex) in your relationship and finally gets married, dat God will give you a lousy, unfulfilled marriage/home?? Ponder through this rhetorical question but dont forget that we re in a FALLING world/society where sin, attrocities, evil are celebrated and still in all these, the word of God still had not changed. His ways are far different from our ways. Harden not your heart as you hear His word. Remain blessed. Cheers!!!
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@ Ntiko, Nice reply for @ brotherly, there's nothing to add. God bless you real good. Take charge.
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Ntiko, you have a realistic argument, I'll reply soon. faith Yetu, please can you the link of your previous comment as it relates to my point of view so I can present a more convincing argument. Just give me some time...
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Have u ever thought u'd get married one day. So why defile urselfs now when u know u'ld be together 4ever. Avoid temptation plz, Marrige is Honourable bed Undefiled!
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Very interesting and key topic raised by Faith Yetu. No pretending here and no one has the right to harass anyone here. I would first and foremost like to ask @ Eniola Ladidi, what do you think would happen if a couple suddenly realised after marriage that they are not in any way sexually compatible?? Most expecially when it has gotten to an intolerable extent.
@Nwoko_emmanuel, I agree that it takes more than sex but not love to keep a relationship. Personally, like I said before I think that sexual compatibility is not something to be figured out after saying 'I do'.
@Baps,to me your last fact is a hasty generalisation. I am glad you know that not all who had sex before marriage ended up regretting it but it is also vice versa. However you need to know that dozens of marriages have broken due to sexual incompatibility which I earlier mentioned.
More so, let me state here that not everyone in this forum is a Christian or Muslim for example myself and the other Eckist guy that spoke before are of different faith. So Faith Yetu should take note.
I'm stating with pertinacious exactitude that premarital sex was never mentioned anywhere in my own scripture/Bible.
At this Juncture, I will deviate from religion now and rather stick with ethics in my own view, ethics means knowing the difference between right and wrong using your initiative. Premarital sex for me is a personal issue.
do you know a whooping 73% of broken marriages are caused by lack of appropriate courtship? courtship is a time partners get to know each other better, understand their values and communicate more about their views, a time of been very unbiased and honest about their true values in all ramification
premarital sex can frustrate courtship and eliminate the key things which one should look out for before tying the Nuptial Knots otherwise if anything comes contrary to your expectation, who will you have to blame for it?
This calls for critical evaluation between you and partner before marriage. I understand that sex is a source of bonding here.Though most people just jump into relationships without proper defined objectives and want to start having sex from day one. Such relationships do not last. Learn how to have control over everything you do or else you will be switching between Tabs with a lot of emotions beclouding your sense of judgement.
I still do not see anything wrong with having sex with someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with before marriage. Life is too short.
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haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! :-X
EL- AZAR! EL-AZAR!!, EL-AZAR!!! How many times have i called you? Please let sleeping dogs lie.
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@EL-AZAR, I sincerely respect ur opinion but you see, how certain (I mean the percent) are you dat you will end up marrying dat very person you are having sexual intercourse with. Wat will you call it after sleeping wit dis very person and at the end did not marry him/her - I assume you will call it one of those things!! We honestly need to tell ourselves the truth - life is too short, I agree but this same life has its differnt stages. Sexual Intercourse is something dat you will continously enjoy when you get married, then why rushing into it. Why dont you just marry de person and den kill urself with it than having it pre...Life has a lot of values and norms irrespective of ones belif and religion but its unfortunate that our society upholds the negative side of the life. SLEEPING WITH YOUR PARTNER (be it in committed relationship or not) IS NOT ADVICEABLE AND SHOULD BE CONDEMNED. @Faith, I think the various points/opinions had been raised, its hightime you conclude on this topic - 3 parties are very obvious and outstanding in this discussion. 1. People dat are in support of partners having sexual intercourse before marriage. 2. People dat are against partners having sexual intercourse before marriage (where I strongly belong). 3. Finally, people that are indifferent on the topic (they acknowledge dat its not something good but one has to get involve in it inorder not to make mistakes, have regrets or be embarrased with some unpleasant surprises). Considering these summations pls do very good in concluding on this topic... Thanks for this topic and more of that from you. Its been nice participating in this topic. Cheers to all participants in the house but pls always keep the light shinning. Remain blessed!!
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@ babalarry, very true. Thanks for your advice. Take charge.
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@ EL - AZAR, I must applaud your honesty and being factual to your faith or religion, most of us; @ Ntiko, @ Eniola, @ Nwoko_Emmanuel, etc are BORN AGAIN christians who know the dangers of premarital sex, from our BIBLE, It says Marriage is honorable and the bed Undefiled, whoremongers,illicit sex,fornicators,adulterers, God will judge. The choice of faith to follow is ours, not even God would make that for you, you choose as you WANT. But remember, you'll account one day for it. I LOVE JESUS VERY MADLY, I HAVE NEVER HAD SEX WITH MY PARTNER SINCE I STARTED MY COURSHIP, 3 YEARS PLUS NOW, though the pressure is much on the body; I hope to get married soon, you must understand that with the flesh I/we can't stay this long, but with the help of our GOD who said wait until marriage, I CAN. SO I AM NOT CONCLUDING as @ Ntiko said, I am presenting my humble opinion and contribution as led by the Spirit, that "PREMARITAL SEX OR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE IS WRONG/NOT PART OF GOD'S PLAN FOR MAN, MAN HAS MEDDLED WITH IT TO HIS DEMISE/FRUSTRATION. For those who are wise RUN FOR IT. I appreciate @ Ntiko and a host of others, keep contributing and blessing someone on this subject, God will see us through. And for those who don't believe in what a host of us are saying, NO HARD FEELINGS, WE'LL ALL REAP WHAT WE SOW, AND ON THE LAST DAY EVERYONE WILL ACCOUNT TO HIS CREATOR HOW HE/SHE LIVED HER LIFE. For those who think this is a subject for argument, pls am not arguing with anybody, am just CONTRIBUTING AND EXERCISING MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH as everyone else is entitled to. Take charge my fellas, God bless you all, keep contributing, antagonising etc. It's all your choice, everyone knows where he/she stands. See you @ the top.
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sexual, the matter of sexual compatibility is a subject of interview not intercourse, it should be discussed very critically and truthfully, not practically in the courtship. Take charge.