MY SALARY WAS JUST INCREASED TO 35K, IS DAT ENOUGH 2 START THINKING OF MARRIAGE?

They recently increased my monthly salary to 35k in my place of work. Though the thought of settling down have been in my mind for some time now but I haven't been able to achieve that considering my meagre salary status.

Now that pressures are coming from my immediate family members and relations based on the fact that am the first issue/child in my family, should I go ahead and give it a trial?

REMEMBER! Am in my early 30's. Advise me please. Thanks.

Going by your Salary that is sucide (you just wan kill yourself)
One thing you should know is that no amount of salary will be enough to start thinking of marriage, so you have to take a bold step and do it small (the marriage thing) and settle down, anybody will understand that, do not try to impress anyone

yes man,but marriage is not a function of salary but a function of maturity.just take a look at your side their are many people living around you with little token and they still happily.it is left to you

U can go ahead. It depends on who u want 2 marry, wud she accept u dat way n support u? Afterall our parents married while in school n managed their families well

Guy, my candid advice is for U to run to God and seek for his wisdom. I believe with him on your side, U will always come up with a decision that will surprise U. Because our God is full of surprises.

So, embrace God now. Good luck.

Some teenagers are more sensible and mature than some so called adult and married fools.Cut ur suit according 2 ur size.You can go into marriage if you have other machineries like accommodation, maturity,Fiancee in place and if ur Fiancee is not going to be a full time house wife.But in all U do put God First.

are you for real?! ???. how much does a wedding cost?. how much do u pay for rent or are u planning on living with your parents?. how much are you able to save every month?. do u know how much ante natal costs? do u know how much baby formula costs?marriage is NOT a trial dont u get?. will your family foot your bills?. this one is not a matter of faith. sit down and THINK!!! before u end up getting frustrated and getting the poor girl frustrated as well!!.

o boy,do what u think is best for u,forget about what ur family says.

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Originally Posted by NKONYEMA

are you for real?! ???. how much does a wedding cost?. how much do u pay for rent or are u planning on living with your parents?. how much are you able to save every month?. do u know how much ante natal costs? do u know how much baby formula costs?marriage is NOT a trial dont u get?. will your family foot your bills?. this one is not a matter of faith. sit down and THINK!!! before u end up getting frustrated and getting the poor girl frustrated as well!!.

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...This is more like it.

@001nigeria!
I hope you can find reasonable answers to these questions.

GETTING MARRIED is not the issue; but STAYING MARRIED.
There are no sentiments when it comes to marriage life. You need to analyse it critically before taking a decision.

However, I wish you well. The final decision is yours to make at the end of the day.

Above all commit it sincerely to God's hands. But remember, God will not do for man what man can do for himself!

im really not happy with a lotta responses. where someone in the house (or anyone for that matter )has a problem or needs advice why dont we just give realistic answers.
@eveihotu when our parents got married, did they pay 500k or more as rent for a flat?, was cerelac N500 (cos i think babeena was less than N1 in 1986(and my parents had been married for about 10years). do people really know wat marriage entails? i am only going to concentrate on the financial aspect cos that is what his question is based on. couples earn 100k and yet they pennypinch. they try to minimise spending as much as possible. they try not to engage in frivolous spending. the wedding day is not the marriage itself, it is merely the beginning. can N35,000 "comfortably" (pls note the word comfortably) take care of a grown man,can it? my dear 001 nigeria- this question is directed to u. can u meet YOUR needs with N35k, much less a woman and a baby?.honestly? House you mite think me blunt and faithless but I believe human beings (often times than not), are the architects of their own problems. although everyone seems to lay the blame at the devils feet. lol. Your people will rejoice when u are married and rightly so cos one of your siblings will be asked to move in with you!!. do u really wanna know what it feels like for people to begin to run away from u cos u always beg or borrow with a promise to pay back. do you?. my friend used to say when there is no money love may fly out of the window. one becomes a burden. a couple who could not live without each other become anathema to each other. I love God with all my heart, but i dont think God will come down from heaven and sort out your problems for you. Do u have another source of income?. wat about your wife. wat do u guys make jointly per month?. You are in your thirties and i guess you have married friends or at least female colleagues, relatives of friends who have had kids. tell them to help u draw up what they spent from their month of preg to the last month ( i can bet noone will be able to get the rite figure). then when the baby comes,more expenses. wat about the mother?. she MUST eat healthy to breastfeed properly. how about injections, vaccines, innoculations?. do u want to feed ur baby pap?(God forbid!!) Please 001 nigeria I sincerely apologise if i have slighted u but i mean no harm. This is my candid advice and i hope u see it only as that. God bless you

do pple know what marriage entails?
I guess no one does initially, everyone learns in the process.

One thing i have come to realise is that you do not tell someone to or not to marry its a decision that is left strictly to those concerned. If you are the one that posted a similar topic abouit borrowing 100K fom your firend, then i guess your mind is already made up or you have no other choice if she is pregnant, then you would be doing the right thing.

Everyone have said their piece and its all justified. Nkoyema couldnt have been more precise BUT life does not make the same opportunities available to us all, based on your current salary you would need like 10months salary to get just a wedding ring. The wedding day is not the issue here but the afterwards. Not all would start with living in a flat. I dont know where you are coming from or what your story is just know that marriage is a partnership.If the lady concerned is working, then good cos you get to plan everything on your collective salary, no woman wants to be a burden. Considering finances, one is never ready and thats the honest truth. Emm if a baby is on the way, then the situation is more scary with your current salary but yorubas have this saying that "eru e yan meji ni omo" meaning a child is not meant for one alone but two.

You can copy people in business, habits etc but never in marriage, there is no template to follow. If it works well for some in their 30s to marry, it might not work for others ok and its not a function of am so so age.

Am not encouraging neither am i discouraging,one wise man here says staying married is the main issue and thats the HONEST TRUTH so go to your church for counselling. They know your circumstances better.Marriage is a life long commitment with huge responsibilities and its also fun cos you get to be with your very good friend for ever.

Which ever one you decide on, i sincerly wish you the best
God bless
TBABY

O boy!

Dat salary is definately not enough. Apart from yourself and your wife what about the kids and their welfare?

What about the aged father/mother-in-laws? The house rent? and other things onless she has a good job or comes from a rich family if not forget it ooo.

my guy, life is all about risk. take a bold step as a man, the rest will follow ok. God will see u through.

all i want to say is that nothing in this life comes with any guarantees but we have to keep living the life we have. my brother if u are set to marry 35k or not u will get married but u must let the lady in question to know ur finacial state. i know some one who is paid slightly above 100k has his house rent paid by the company and free health care but he is almost living from hand to mouth b4 the end of every month becos of the kind of wife he married so what am i saying be sincere and honest to the one u love. remember u know who u love but u dont know who loves u. take care

Guy, follow your heart but above all, commit it to God's hand. If you decide to wait because of your salary, you will wait till eternity. Initiate the process and watch God do the rest. Just do things within your limit, remember there are Police officers, artisans, vulcanizers and others receiving less and are yet married with children. It is well.

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Originally Posted by MonG

......remember there are Police officers, artisans, vulcanizers and others receiving less and are yet married with children. It is well.

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Would you love to live your life like theirs?

i feel strongly about matters like this . i think one should compare oneself with people better than they are so that he/she can strive for something better. @ MonG : do u want to live like vulcanisers, do u?! i really dont get :-\ ???

Once you find the right person, I believe every other thing will fall in place. I have seen people who got married and things changed for the better! Just take a sincere step today and see what God will do! remember if HE can provide for all the birds in the sky......
However marraige is a very serious issue oh, please try and weigh all ur options before u make the move. God will be with you!

brotherly,there is more to marriage than increment in salary!!!think carefully and above all approach the Lord in prayer!!! Good luck.

My dear brother, what I think matter most is your mind. It is what your mind tells you that you can do that you'll be able to do. Remember HE CAN WHO THINKS HE CAN AND HE CAN'T WHO THINKS HE CAN'T! WHAT THE MIND OF MIND CONCEIVE WHAT THE MIND OF MAN BELIEVE, THE MIND OF MAN WILL ACHIEVE. If you mind tells you you can cope, especially if you partner is working, then you can go ahead, but if your mind tell you that you won't cope and if you partner is going to depend on you, the I'll advice you think twice. But I believe nobody can give you better advice than yourself

hmmmmm, you can get married but not after you must have saved a substantial amount to kick-start your new family. i will advise u to marry a lady who is working, i mean a good job or self employed and also make sure she is not the flamboyant type that loves wearing the latest in vogue and partying. both of u should be prudent in your spending and be prayerful. there are people who earn N100+ and still live in poverty due to lack of planning and focus.

If you're up to it then go for it, you'll never sow if you observe the wind...

It's more than enough for you.The most important thing is if the money is steady(since its salary,i want to belive positive),and your fiance/wife is 'able'&'willing' to assit.
pls go ahead as long as you find your missing rib

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Originally Posted by florafab

It's more than enough for you.The most important thing is if the money is steady(since its salary,i want to belive positive),and your fiance/wife is 'able'&'willing' to assit.

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I completely disagree with this!

@florafab!
Could you please expantiate on what you meant by "It's more than enough for you"?

HONESTLY THIS IS A VERY DELICATE ISSUE CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT IT IS MARRIAGE U ARE TALKING ABOUT HERE, HMNMM, 35,000K MONTHLY WITH A WIFE, ANYWAY, WITH FAITH U CAN MOVE MOUNTAINS, JUST SEEK THE ADVICE OF A COUNSELLOR/MAN OF GOD BEFORE TAKING THE DECISION.WISH U ALL THE BEST,MOST IMPORTANTLY MY DEAR, UR PATNER'S UNDERSTANDING MATTERS A LOT IN THIS DECISION.

Quite sometime people,

We are looking at an average of 1k every day for this bro, if he can always put his family first after God, he should be able to pull through with proper planning, that is cutting his coat according to his size, i have seen and I have always wondered how they manage, guys arround were I work doing fine with something like he is earning now.
However each environment has its peculiarity in the areas of cost of living. It would be pretty difficult for him to survive on that in a place like PH, LAG, ABJ etc. issues like excesive socializing, always wishing he were someone else would not help him, he should be contented with what is at hand now, a plate of soup with a piece of meat, and instead of always wishing he was eating chicken, should always remember to pray to have chicken in his soup tommorrow.
More importantly, what if this guy gets a job that pays well today, starts living the big boy life, and God forbid, something unfortunate happens were does this kind of situation leave us.
By and large folks, life is what you make of it, out of what you have.

Still 1luv

No matter how much u collect if Gods blessing is upon it u will make it. know that u have 2 cut your coat according 2 your size. please be moderate and if at all u have an understanding partner she will be of help. wisdom is better than money. :)

@smilekadi,
its really nice to have you back after being AWOL.Its nice having mature minds in the house again,pls don't go too far next time,always hang around the corner.

@Dagunro,
pls tell me with all honesty,by the end of the month when you count your expenses does it amount to your income?Yes,thats what i mean,most of the time,we spend more than we earn(I belive that is divine provision anyway).
The most important thing is for it to be stable,after which God multiplies.
Rem. He who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtained FAVOUR from God......
He just has to keep asking God for favour.
I hope i have expantiated abit?

My brother, just try and take a step, with God by ur side u can do it. don't wait until when u start earning millions cos d wife u are about marry might open doors for u. at ur early 30's u re due......... Good luck! ;D ;D

@florafab.....i strongly disagree with u. if ur expenses are more than your income, then it means u have another source of income. its just simple arithmetic or u are living above your means so u are buying stuff on credit (which is not exactly a good habit). if u earn 20k and u spend 30k, wat does that mean?

@florafab!
Honestly speaking I live STRICTLY within my means. 8)

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Originally Posted by florafab

...He who finds a wife has found a good thing and obtained FAVOUR from God......

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...Agreed! But, we are made to know in that same Book that "A man who can not take care of his family is worse than an INFIDEL"


Anyone who lives based on your explanation of "having more expenses than income" will really have to sit up. In all ramifications, it's not a good way of living.
I still maintain that with 35K, you can't run a family comfortably except:
1. You live in a 1 or 2 room (face me I slap u) apartment in a remote village.
2. You are ready to feed your children with pap from birth.
3. You are not prepared to invest in the future of your children by sending them to good schools.
4. And many more...

Our destiny lies in our hands. The resultant effect is our responsibility.
Remember, God will not do for man what man can do for himself.

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Originally Posted by xerick

a man can earn 200k and still go a borrowing while a man that earns 10k is very much comfortable why.

is the grace.

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That a man earns 200k and still go borrowing doesn't imply that he doesn't have "The Grace".
What if he has a project at hand; like building a house or raising capital to start his own business?

@Dagunro,
when did you become a cynic?I never knew you as one.
What i meant by expenses being more than income,was just an unexplainable divine supply/increase from God and not living on credit or above ones means.
I'm a living witnes of that;when i was doing my IT and earning 5K, people thought i was earning like 30K,even now that I'm out of a job,several people don't know.
Everything NA GOD.
I rest my case.(the above is based solely on the posters opinion)

@florafab. . . . . . .maybe i dont get the meaning of income ???. is it ur salary that was 5k or everything u get in a month?. i might have been earning 25k as a corper, my parents give me 10k, an uncle or aunt gives me the occasional change here and there and probably in a month i get as much as 50k. if i spend 40k, im i living above my means? (considering i EARN 25k?). i think the answer is no!. because 40k is still less than 50k. like i said,this is simple arithmetic. if the only money u received a month (from all angles - allowee,parents,siblings etc) was 5k and u could feed, get your hair (and nails) done, buy clothes, buy shoes, pay tfare, buy units for your phone etc, then im really scared of u. God is graceful but HE is not a magician!!.

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Originally Posted by florafab

@Dagunro,
...when did you become a cynic?I never knew you as one.

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I am not a CYNIC though; rather I beleive in REALISM!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by florafab

I'm a living witnes of that;when i was doing my IT and earning 5K, people thought i was earning like 30K

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No doubt, many of us had that kind of privilege and that was because we were still seen as students. One would rarely get that kind of "handout" as a family man or woman.

DONT DARE

Yet you say you're not being cynical!
Are you having your .....
Ara nkan e gan,osu o de ti loyun bayi o.(Just kidding).

@Poster,
pls if your FAITH can not carry you through,pls don't you dare try it,'cause it would really be disastrous for a young family.

Thinking about marriage is not the same as getting married.You can think about marriage with an income of 35k,It doesn't mean one is finacially stable to be among the married.Here lies the power of a mind.If you believe that with 35k you can marry then i believe you can.

One Luv
Jibowu

@Remola04......can't you just be serious and advise the poster positively on the issue posted and stop advertisizing what u don't know on this precious job seeker's site.