The Mathematics of Life

> > ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
> >
> > Smart man + smart woman = romance
> > Smart man + dumb woman = affair
> > Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
> > Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
> > ______________________________
> > OFFICE ARITHMETIC
> >
> > Smart boss + smart employee = profit
> > Smart boss + dumb employee = production
> > Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
> > Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
> > _____________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > SHOPPING MATH
> >
> > A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
> > A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't
> > need.
> > _____________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
> >
> > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
> > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
> > A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
> > can spend.
> > A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
> > _____________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > HAPPINESS
> >
> > To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and
> > love him a little.
> > To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not
> > try to understand her at all.
> > ______________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > LONGEVITY
> >
> > Married men live longer than single men do, but married men
> > are a lot more willing to die.
> > ______________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
> >
> > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
> > doesn't.
> > A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
> > and she does.
> > _____________________________
> >
> >
> >
> > DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
> >
> > A woman has the last word in any argument.
> > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
> > argument.
> > _____________________________
> >
> > HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
> > Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in
> > the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're
> > next." They stopped after I started doing the same
> > thing to them at funerals.
> >
> >