How To Choose The Right Partner

When it's the question of choosing your life partner, you should make the proper decision. Whether or not your partner is right for you is undoubtedly is one of the most important decisions of your life, since your entire future depends on this. Sometimes you are just confused as to whether you really love the person you are dating or it is mere attraction and it is difficult to make a decision. You don't know how can you be sure you have the picked the right one?
Well, the first thing you need to do is honestly ask yourself why you love or are with your partner. You must understand your heart and what it says. Does your heart beat for your partner? Do you feel totally devastated when he is not around? You should know the difference between love and infatuation.
When it is spending your whole life with a person do not go in for a blind love. Don't build a relationship upon fear, insecurity and pity. It will never last and will only give unhappiness and sorrow. Remember that if there are too many ifs, ands or buts in a relationship then sooner or later the relationship is bound to fail.
So the question still remains, how do you choose the right partner? Well following are a few tips that will definitely help you understand love and help you make the important decision as to choosing the right partner.

Common Interests

For a compatible relationship the couple should have common interests. You have to have something in common with your partner in order to be able to be with him and do things together. Physically you might have great relations, but does that really matter?
When two people have different interests, one person usually ends up sacrificing their desires for the other person in order to live a happy life, or else or you end up living completely separate lives. Therefore to avoid any future complications and creating ego problems it is better to always analyze your interests and desire and see whether they match.

Ambitions
It is also necessary to preserve your individuality and make it clear that you too have a life and ambition. Though women are supposed to stay at home and take care of kids and home but if you are an ambitious kind of a person then always find out whether your partner and in-laws are comfortable with it. Are they willing to let you have that career you have always wanted?

Intellect
The next thing that you have to look out for is whether your partner and your intellect match. It is very difficult to communicate with a dull or insensitive person. Ask these questions to yourself. When you talk to him, is he on the same level as you? How long does it take him to answer your question?
Do you get bored because he answers everything else under the sun rather than the question you asked him? Does he understand you when you speak? Can you really talk to him about absolutely anything? This may sound crazy but imagine living your entire life with someone who doesn't understand you and who frustrates you to no end by his speed of communication and just doesn't get it when you are trying to explain something to him?

Principles
If you are a person who goes by principles and strictly follows them and your partner has no principles then there is bound to be problems in your relationship. You have to straighten it out before plunging into marriage.
Now think, do you have an ideal partner sketched out in your head? Perhaps you have a shopping list of “must have” traits. Include honesty, intelligence, sense of humor, openness to new ideas, stability, communication, common hobbies and interests, and willingness to work on the relationship to make it succeed. Though men and women might seek similar traits in a partner, each individual focuses on different qualities. Men typically want a relationship that allows autonomy, while women look for a sense of connection.
To begin your quest to find the right partner, think about the traits and behaviors you prefer. Though there are some important traits to you, consider other more important once when it comes to having a healthy, long-term relationship. Here is a list of some important qualities to consider:

Commitment to personal growth
Is interested in learning how to be a better person and spouse.
Is aware of emotional baggage, blind spots, and weaknesses.
Has a personal goal for self-improvement.
Emotional Openness
Is aware of his or her own feelings
Is able to express his or her feelings
Desires to share feelings with you
Integrity
Is honest with himself or herself
Is honest with others and you
Does not play games about wants and feelings
Maturity and Responsibility
Maintains a clean house, pays bills and handles finances
Is able to take care of himself or herself
Follows through on promises, shows up on time, doesn't let people down
Respects your boundaries, feelings, time, etc.
High Self-esteem
Takes pride in himself or herself without being arrogant
Takes care of body, living environment, car, possessions
Does not allow other people to mistreat him/her
Positive Attitude Towards Life
Focuses on solutions instead of problems
Turns obstacles into opportunities
Sees the good in situations and people

Now that your list is complete consider some flaws that are fatal to a relationship. Your partner might have one or more of these traits and still be capable of having a relationship. However, you may have a problem-filled relationship following is a list of fatal flaws:
• Addictions
• Anger
• Victim consciousness
• Control freak
• Sexual dysfunction
• Hasn't grown up
• Emotionally unavailable
• Hasn't recovered from past relationships
• Emotional damage from childhood.

Have a nice day. Shalom.

Hello,

Your write-up is really great. Is like you r on this for so long.

Thanking you for sharing your idea.

Stay blessed.

Adeniyi Adewale : [email protected]

08034329696

thank you

@sholyprince,
when did you become a marriage counselor?
Nice one 'though.
CIAO

Thats a nice write up. Kudos