“Finding a Life Partner”

“House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a PRUDENT WIFE is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14

For about four years, I had been discreetly and prayerfully searching for a lady to marry, but all my efforts were to no avail. Many a time, based on my Utopian ideal on what a perfect wife should be, I’ll get into a relationship- only to be disappointed after some months…

And before the brake up, I must have wasted some resources, including time and energy. Until recently, God clearly revealed my wife to me. And since I got into relationship with this lady from the Lord, I can’t imagine ever being able to get (on my own discretion) a lady as prudent and lovely as she is for a wife.

And ever since my breakthrough, I have learnt great lessons from my own experience, which I have been using to counsel my friends who are still scouting for a perfect life partner.

Hence, I feel led by the Holy Spirit to share my lessons with folks who may as well be searching for a heavenly life partner in the interim. So they can hit right at their covenant life partners and avoid the grievous mistake and consequences of choosing a stranger for marriage.

“How Can I Find a Heavenly Life Partner?”

As I discuss with most of my friends, who are searching for life partner, I have always discovered one hindrance which have prevented them and so many believers (including my very self then), from getting the direction of God for a life partner.

Just like me then, they have been earnestly praying to God to reveal the perfect person to them. Which I believe is the best and wisest thing to do, when a believer is looking for a life partner. Because according to our opening scripture, “A prudent wife (including husband- if I may add), cometh from the Lord.”

Because, we as humans are very incapable of knowing and choosing the right person that will help us fulfill our God-given visions. But the hindrance here is that, these my friends (like me then), after praying, are not open-minded to the perfect will or choice of God.

After praying, we put God’s opinion aside, and bring out our blueprint to scrutinize the person before we choose. In short, even in the place of prayers, we start giving God our criteria. For instance, if it’s a man asking God for a wife, he petitions God with all manners of conditions…

Conditions such as: she must be very beautiful; tall and slim in shape. She must have gap in-between the teeth. She must have big breast and buttocks. Must come from a particular tribe… and the list goes on and on. If we’re to get God’s perfect counsel, we must open our hearts to God, for whomever he wants to give to us. Then after God reveals the person, we can then confirm spiritually (not carnally), if truly the person is from the Lord.

My friend and Christian Brother, who came to me recently for counsel, concerning choosing a life partner, is a perfect case study.
He told me he had been praying for a life partner. That he wants God to reveal his life partner to him. Then almost immediately, he started recounting to me, what he is expecting from the wife. He said the girl must be working… and other conditions…

Then I told him plainly that God cannot show him a wife. Because he has already made up his mind on what he wants. As he heard that, he agreed with me, and even shared with me that there is a lady he feels nudged to speak to concerning marriage, but he was not comfortable with her fat stature.

He agreed that the girl was a good Christian and has the fear of God, from his relationship with her. But just that he was uncomfortable with the fatness. It was then I counseled him to be totally opened to whomever God wants him to marry, if he must get married to God’s perfect will for him.
Recently he just called me that he has gotten all the convictions from God, he needed to go ahead and approach the said lady for marriage.

You see, if you want God to reveal to you your perfect life partner, you must completely zero out your mind in your request, else God will not speak to you. Because God knows better, than speak to you when you will not accept his counsel…

If God must speak to you concerning marriage, you must wholeheartedly say; “God reveal to me the right person you want me to marry; I will marry her regardless of anything. I just want nothing but your perfect will. I don’t care her shape, status, height, color, education, tribe or anything.”

I told someone that if God revealed a cripple, or a deaf mute to me to marry, as I confirm very well its God, I’ll go ahead with the marriage no matter how hard it seems…

Many Christians only end up marrying God’s permissive will, because they won’t allow God show them his perfect will. And even if he did, they won’t accept it if the person does not meet their criteria. Hence, there are so much struggles, even breakages in many marriages. Including Christian Marriages.

So there you have it! To choose a perfect life partner, ask God to show you. After praying, as you go about searching, just be open-minded to whomever God reveals to your heart…

And I must add here, that a woman is not to find a husband, it is the man that should find her. The bible says; “He who finds a wife”. The man is to find the wife through God’s guidance, while the woman, as the man comes speaking, she should ask him for some time to pray for confirmation.
And to confirm the voice of the Lord concerning the revelation of a life partner, I advise a minimum of two different witnesses of the Holy Spirit, before making a move or acceptance.

Personally, before I was totally convicted to speak to my fiancé, I had up to three witnesses from the Holy Spirit. Then as I got into the relationship, I have received more confirmations from the Lord.

Before I moved, I dreamt about her thrice, but the face was not specific. Although I saw on those three occasions that she was light in complexion. I even went ahead telling my course mates that my wife to be is light in complexion.

Then after some time, I heard her name clearly in my heart, with God telling me, she likes me so much. Finally, before I spoke to her concerning marriage, the Holy Spirit convicted me with a scriptural revelation as I read a Christian literature.

So in choosing a life partner, you must be fully convinced by the voice of God in your spirit (heart), then you move based on your conviction or convictions as the case may be. Because it is your convictions from the Lord that will enable you hang on in the marriage, regardless of whatever challenges you may come across.

You will not make the wrong choice in choosing your life partner, in marriage, in Jesus precious name!

Remain Blessed!

Emeke Odili.